Normally a post on purchasing a new swimsuit would come under the category “The Struggling Spirit”, as its generally a process fraught with frustration and disappointment. But this time was different – this time the swimsuit found me…
It came about in Boonah – a little country town in South-east Queensland. I wandered into a local op-shop and there, hanging seductively on a rack, was my swimsuit. It sported a fetching $3 price-tag and seemed to be singing out “Here I am – I’m yours!”. Not only did it fit perfectly, it was also exactly the style I wanted. We were, in fact, the perfect match, and it was love at first sight – at least on my part.
That was September last year. And where have my swimsuit and I gone since then? I’m ashamed to say – “nowhere”. That’s not strictly true – it has been on day-trips and holidays with me, but been left to languish in a suitcase, whilst I’ve jaunted around doing other things. Not once has it felt the sun and the sand, or the cool splash of water on its silken threads. Nobody has had the chance to admire it, exclaim over it, and gladden its little swimsuit soul.
I was reminded of my callous treatment of my wonderful new swimsuit just the other day, when my sister-in-law displayed a new swimsuit she had bought a month ago. She too, was thrilled to find it. And, like mine, her swimsuit has not seen the light of day.
It’s put me in mind of other things I’ve bought or kept over the years, thinking that I would use them. I have lugged boxes of materials around through countless moves, believing I would one day sew beautiful clothes, soft furnishings and delightful crafty things. I also kept a big tin full of broken china, waiting for the day it was going to be made into charming mosaics. Believing I was a person who mended things, I had a huge basket of clothes that my children outgrew years ago. And I could go on….
I’m not saying it’s wrong to have kept all those things. I guess they represented hopes and dreams of what could be, and how I’d like to see myself. But oh – the sense of lightness, the fredom when I finally let them go! It was as if I finally accepted that it was okay to let that vision of myself go – if I was ever going to do those things, I surely would have done them already. And with all that clutter gone from my house and my mind, it gave me space to do more of what I love.
What about you? Have you got a cupboard full of “one-day” visions of yourself? What do you do with it? Are they worth keeping?
PS: I’m keeping the swimsuit! I still see myself and it, frolicking in the waves…. I’ll keep you posted!